Mayor Just Annihilates Entire Thing Of Gummy Bears During Staff Meeting

Richmond Mayor Dwight Jones has apparently torn his way through a full 1 pound bag of gummy bears during a staff meeting, City Hall sources reported today, and it’s not even 11 a.m. yet.

If confirmed, the mayoral gummy bear slaying would be the fifth such candy-related eating incident in the past two weeks by Jones, known for his massive daily sugar intake of nearly 2,500 calories.

“He walks into our morning meeting, opens his briefcase, and just starts going to town on one of those big bags of gummy bears like you get at CVS,” said a staffer who wished to remain anonymous out of fear of the mayor making him eat the orange ones. “He doesn’t really like the orange [bears] so he tries to pawn them off on the rest of us, claiming they’re healthy because they’re made with real fruit juice.”

The gummy bear incident comes on the heels of Jones’ trip to the emergency room last week after a minor throat injury caused by the coarse sugars found on Sour Patch Kids.


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