Newly Uncovered Historical Documents Show Henry Actually Said 'Give Me Liberty Or Give Me Peanut M&Ms'

New documents unearthed last week by archaeologists may shed new light on the famous speech given in Church Hill by Patrick Henry, indicating that the Founding Father and then-Virginia Delegate in fact stated “Give me liberty or give me peanut M&Ms.”

Though the phrase “Give me liberty, or give me death!” has long believed to have been Henry’s March 1775 call to arms for Virginia to enter the Revolutionary War, historians now believe that it appears as though the two-term Governor of Virginia wanted liberty but would have been willing to sacrifice such freedom for a chocolate fix.

“Though the exact text of his speech was not documented, we had long thought, via various means of data collection, that Mr. Henry told colleagues in the House of Burgesses up in Church Hill to ‘Give me Liberty, or give me Death,’ as a means of rallying for war,” said Richmond archaeologist Morrison Gates. “It would now appear that he equated the concept of American liberties to that of the taste of peanuts covered in milk chocolate and a hard candy shell.”

Added the historian: “I can’t say that I blame him.”

The peanut M&M’s revelation comes on the heels of last year’s discovery of Henry’s personal daily allowance of two Diet Cokes, which helped him kick his previously documented pack-a-day of Marlboros habit.

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