Pants Now Optional At Tiki Bob's

Seeking to make the establishment “a bit more laid back than it already is,” officials at Tiki Bob’s Cantina in Shockoe Bottom today announced a new club policy whereby pants, a common clothing item worn by millions of decent human beings while in public, will now be strictly optional.

The no-pants-necessary policy will allow clubgoers aged 18 and up to enter the North 18th Street nightclub – known for its 10-cent tacos, low-cost beverages served in plastic cups, and bros – without the same cover-ups required in all other bars and restaurants.

“We want our customers to feel comfortable and welcomed here, whether getting they grind on up on some young hottie or doing tequila shots out of a stranger’s belly button, so pantslessness is really just an extension of our core values,” said Tiki Bob’s general manager Robert D’Angelo as he filled a baby pool with a 50/50 mixture of Vaseline and chocolate pudding in preparation for an event at the club later this evening. “When you combine this new dress code with our recent no-shirt-required policy, it is our hope that more of our customers will realize that they can, if they desire, party up in here fully nude.”

Added D’Angelo: “Aside from the multiple piercings and lower-back tattoos.”

In addition to the updated dress code, Tiki Bob’s also announced several new specials,  including Single Lady Saturdays sponsored by Axe Body Spray, Face Tattoo Tuesdays, and a coupon for free blood work with every purchase of a rum and Coke.

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