CIA Foils Plot To Steal Glass From Star-lite

Senior U.S. bar counter-intelligence officials today said that they have successfully stopped a local woman in her attempt to extract a pint glass from the popular Main Street restaurant and bar Star-lite.

FBI officials arrested Fan resident Heather Dunn, 32, before she was able to conceal the glass – valued at $2.15 and emblazoned with the restaurant’s name and logo – in her purse. Known in local bargoing circles as a “master and mentor to all glass stealers” and by others as “fairly hot,” Dunn was pinned to the ground by four agents and later charged with a Glass 4 felony.

“Lifting a Star-lite glass has long been one of the top targets for pint-glass thieves who come to the Richmond area,” said lead FBI investigator John Deane, who worked closely with the CIA to ensure that Star-lite officials would be able to save the glass and ultimately serve more patrons before having to wash another.

Dunn, one of the FBI’s 10 Most Wanted pint glass takers and who often wears her pretty much perfect brown hair in a ponytail, is believed to be storing at least one pint glass from every Fan-area establishment in her kitchen cabinets.

The arrest comes on the heels of a major pint glass-related misstep by the FBI, when, on the second Tuesday of last month, officials accidentally arrested an entire restaurant full of glass stealers at Capital Ale House.

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