Local Man Struck Down Upon Thee With Great Vengeance, Furious Anger

East End resident Brett was struck down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger by local hitman Jules Winnfield yesterday, police said.

Another victim – an unnamed guy on a couch – was also killed during the breakfast-time visit to Brett’s apartment by Winnfield and his colleague, Vincent Vega. The suspects – still at-large and considered armed and extremely dangerous – were dressed in similar black suits, police said.  The hitmen are believed to have driven to the apartment to retrieve a briefcase and to get even with Brett, who earlier in the week had transgressed against the pair’s mobster boss, Marsellus Wallace.

As of press time, the contents of the briefcase are unknown.

“From the evidence we have gathered at the crime scene, it appears that Brett was in the middle of eating a Big Kahuna cheeseburger when he was shot about ten times by the two suspects,” said Richmond Police Lieutenant Reid Smith.  “It also seems that the victim, despite Mr. Winnfield’s persistent questioning on the matter, denied categorizing Mr. Wallace as a ‘bitch.'”

A third man in Brett’s apartment had his life spared by Winnfield and Vega, police said, and was taken by the hitmen into the safety of their car.

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2 thoughts on “Local Man Struck Down Upon Thee With Great Vengeance, Furious Anger

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  1. Update: The body of the third man has been identified. It appears the victim, known only as “Marvin” appears to have been shot a point blank range in the face. The suspects were last seen with a gentleman know only as the cleaner who is wanted in several jurisdictions for unpaid speeding tickets. One of the suspects it has been confirmed is now wearing UC Santa Cruz Banana Slugs T-Shirt and should still be considered armed and dangerous.

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