City To Begin Issuing Tax Money To Citizens In Free Parking Spots

Drivers throughout Richmond now have an extra bonus incentive for whenever they manage to find a free parking space: Free money from the city’s tax fund.

“Here’s how it works: If you’re driving throughout the city and happen to find free parking, park on the spot and you will immediately collect however much money the city has received in taxes since the last person to get free parking,” said City Treasurer Eunice Wilder, polishing off her monocle and waving her top hat. 

Funding for those who find free parking will come from a number of sources: Purchases of luxury items, income taxes and school or poor taxes that sneak up on residents “by chance,” Wilder said. 

The cash will be stored in a secured location in the exact center of the city.  The money will be paid not only to citizens who drive cars, but also those commuters who choose to ride horses, cannons, irons, shoes, battleships or thimbles.

The taxes-for-free-parking move comes on the heels of a decision by the city to lift the four-homes-per-property ceiling for land owners, as well as a law that requires tenants to pay rent even when landlords don’t ask for it.

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3 thoughts on “City To Begin Issuing Tax Money To Citizens In Free Parking Spots

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    1. Story was published prior to the news. Our writers* are currently storyboarding** tomorrow’s story regarding Ukrop’s.

      *Well, just one, really.
      **As in, drowning himself in alcohol trying to think up something that hasn’t been done yet.

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