Councilman Dreading Having To Work Soup Kitchen On Thanksgiving

Richmond City Councilman E. Martin “Marty” Jewell expressed dismay to reporters this morning over having to work the soup kitchen line on Thanksgiving Day, part of a photo opportunity that will unfortunately prevent him from having “an actual day off.”

“I mean, it’ll get me on the front of the paper and on the news, but like, scooping corn pudding and cranberry sauce onto homeless people’s trays? I don’t wanna,” said a visibly upset Jewell, noting he will miss his own family’s Thanksgiving dinner and likely be forced to eat leftovers. “This sucks.”

The 5th District councilman expressed further dread at having to wake up “at the crack of frigging dawn,” whereas – prior to being elected to one of the highest seats in local government – he normally enjoys waking up late, moping around in his jammies, and tearing into a bottle of scotch by noon at the latest.

Added Jewell: “Ugh, do I hafta?”

The councilman said that he would be sure to monitor his alcohol consumption and “keep it under the legal limit this time,” or at the very least take the back way home.


One thought on “Councilman Dreading Having To Work Soup Kitchen On Thanksgiving

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  1. I mean…I understand political people work hard, but what this man has to understand that when you get into positions like this, you are required to care for the people around you! I mean, isn’t this one of the main reasons you are a councilman? This article is an example of the heartless world that only cares about themselves and treat others less fortunate like second class citizens. God put us here to serve each other, not to act like the devil. WAY TO GO COUNCILMAN. Never know when this could be you.

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