Meteorologist Increasingly Distraught While Speaking Of More Rain

NBC12’s Jim Duncan, the station’s normally jovial and upbeat meteorologist, appeared downtrodden and depressed last night while reporting to viewers news of additional rain and dreary skies throughout Central Virginia.

“More rain in store for us tomorrow, getting heavy in the late morning and early afternoon, but, I don’t know, what really does it matter anymore because it’s probably never going to be sunny ever again,” said Duncan, his voice trailing off.  “What is life, really, but a series of rain storms that slowly wash away memories of times past and present, erasing everything we hold so dear to our hearts like an eternal flood upon our desperate, wretched, withering souls.”

“Oh, and inland areas are under a Flood Watch until 9 p.m. [on Thursday],” he added.

Rubbing his temples and showing moments of absolute despair in his tired eyes, Duncan noted that the rain would begin to taper off late Friday evening, just in time for Saturday’s marathon and for him to stop contemplating just falling off the sheer face of the Earth.

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One thought on “Meteorologist Increasingly Distraught While Speaking Of More Rain

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  1. This article is really not that far fetched. When I worked at Starbucks, Jim was a regular, and GOD FORBID you ever ask him about or crack jokes about the weather. He would stare you down with ice eyes that would freeze your core. We had to forewarn any new employees to NEVER SPEAK OF THE WEATHER TO HIM. Eventually he warmed up enough to us to actually half smile when we had his regular order waiting for him by the time he got to the counter.

    Aw, I miss those days.

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