According to sources familiar with the situation, Your Mom – the woman who brought you into this world, raised you throughout childhood, and remains a significant source of support as you grow older – potentially had a little too much fun downtown last night.
“Yeah, I saw Your Mom in this small little dress getting pretty frisky on the dance floor at Richbrau earlier, then she almost spilled her drink all over some guy,” said a source at the bar, who chose to remain anonymous but said that, whatever weird stuff you’re thinking about Your Mom is probably 100 percent true. “I didn’t realized moms could dance like that, but Your Mom pulled it off.”
Man dude, Your Mom, wow. “I mean wow,” sources noted.
Also, by that point in the evening, Your Mom had drank about 17 Cosmos and could no longer walk straight, the source added, noting the woman who used to pack your lunches before school was all over some huge dude who was macking on her bigtime.
According to Sine bartender Clive Hoeler, Your Mom walked into the Shockoe Slip bar at approximately 11:30 p.m. and was “well oiled” when she began talking to some attractive young guy with an open-collar white shirt, a pretty hot tan jacket, and designer jeans.
“He was a good-looking guy, like model worthy, and he was definitely into Your Mom,” Hoeler said. “And Your Mom was definitely digging him. I’m pretty sure she was rubbing his back, if I remember right.”
Later in the evening, Your Mom got into the car with the younger gentleman, who sources have confirmed as Your Best Friend.