No matter what some Richmonders and city visitors might think, that big beautiful white building overlooking the James River is not the Virginia State Capitol, sources confirmed today.
“Nope, it’s known as the Ethyl building, though the company recently changed its name to NewMarket,” said local know-it-all Charles Farrar Jr., who went on to explain that the actual Virginia State Capitol is roughly a half-mile due north of the building that only looks like the Virginia State Capitol. “I don’t know what they do [at Ethyl] though. By the looks of the building, I’d say it’s something either really important or really pretty.”
In addition to the manor house not having any Virginia State Capitol-related significance – as it is not the definitely, definitely not the Virginia State Capitol – sources said one might also conclude that the Ethyl building was not designed by Thomas Jefferson, though it very well could have been, since the Virginia State Capitol was designed by the third U.S. president and largely resembles the building that only looks like the Virginia State Capitol.
Richmonders who have long believed the Ethyl building to be of huge importance in the Commonwealth said today that they were dumbfounded by the disclosure of its true identity.
“I always just assumed that some big politically-looking place in such a prominent spot had to be where they make the laws and stuff,” said Karen Hill, who has lived in the area for nearly 30 years and never known the real name of the Virginia State Capitolike building, and obviously never set foot onto the actual Virginia State Capitol. “Though I will say, it’s nice to know I’m not the only one who is completely ignorant of their local surroundings.”