Supermutant Wolverine Spotted In Richmond

Famed X-Men superhero Wolverine was spotted in Carytown on Saturday afternoon eating and shopping, then was seen later in the evening at several parties throughout the Fan area, residents reported today.

The man-beast with bowolverinenes made of the indestructible metal-alloy adamantium was likely passing through the Virginia capital on his way back to his home in British Colombia.  Last week, the superhero was involved in a heated and widely-publicized battle with arch-nemesis Sabretooth in southern Florida.

“It was the craziest thing, right?  I’m coming out of this store and who do we see but Wolverine eating with a few friends at [French restaurant] Can Can,” said 34-year-old Leanna Fitzpatrick, who noted that the mutant superhuman with keen animal senses had his claws retracted inside his hands.  “It would have been really cool to see him shoot those claws out, but I guess it just wasn’t in the cards.”

“He was just enjoying a light lunch, so no real need for the claws I guess,” she added.

After leaving Can Can, others said, the man who has instant regenerative healing from most any flesh wound was seen browing through old Sonic Youth albums at the Plan 9 record store, then popped into a gift shop to pick up something for his kids.  Later in the evening, the mutant was seen attending a party on the Boulevard.

“We were hanging out on my porch on Saturday night, and then out of nowhere this dude dressed all in black walks up and was like, ‘Hey, you guys got a beer?’ and I’m like, ‘I mean, I guess, do I know you?’ and the guy’s like ‘What about now?’ and blasts these three silver claws through his knuckles,” said Rick Honsa, who lives in the 200 block of North Boulevard.  “I was like, ‘Holy shit, you’re Wolverine!’ and he’s all like, ‘Yeh.'”

According to the 21-year-old Honsa, the X-Men team leader consumed anywhere in the range of 48 to 90 Pabst Blue Ribbon beers “without so much as breaking a sweat.”

When reached by reporters by phone, Wolverine’s publicists had no comment.


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