Three Begrudgingly Split Single PapaJohn’s Garlic Sauce

Filled with equal parts annoyance, hunger and blind rage, Fan residents Craig Asbury, Andrew Gates and Laupapajohnsren Levine were forced to split a single container of PapaJohn’s Pizza trademark Special Garlic Dipping Sauce during dinner yesterday evening. 

The bitter sauce split came after sources said Levine, 23, ordered a large supreme pizza from the West Main Street PapaJohn’s location at approximately 6:15 p.m., and forgot to request two extra 2-ounce containers of garlic butter, one of the franchise’s popular “Extras” used for dipping pizza, breadsticks and in some cases, body parts. 

Though all three roommates remained quiet about the lack of enough sauce to satisfy their individual needs for additional pizza juices, sources said the anger directed toward Levine by Asbury and Gates made the room uncomfortably heavy with insurmountable hatred.

“I’m just going to pour a bit on my slices, you guys can split the rest,” said a visibly nervous and overly-polite Levine, who, like her roommates, was extremely annoyed by her lack of foresight in simply ordering extra 49-cent dipping sauces.  “Do you guys like the garlic?  If not it’s cool, I’ll take it, I mean, unless you want it.”

Added the information-technology recruiter to herself, hopelessly watching friends dispense the rest of the margarine and garlic powder mix onto their slices: “Son of a bitch.”

The three then entered the apartment’s steel cage and fought until the death over the hot pepperoncini pepper garnish.


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