Not That Local White Student Wouldn’t Want To Go To Virginia Union, It’s Just, You Know

Noting that he has nothing personal against Virginia Union University and believes it is a top-notch school for, wekidll, he’s sure a great many people, local high school junior and white person Alex Linsley told his guidance counselor yesterday that he just doesn’t want to attend that college next year, but no offense.

“It’s just like, you know,” said Linsley, who despite his upbringing in a white, middle-class neighborhood in Henrico County’s far West End reaffirmed his acceptance of all cultures, and, specifically, races that are the exact opposite of his.  “I’m sure it’s a wonderful school, I just…you know how this college search process goes.  I’m sure there’s something out there that better fits what I’m looking for in terms of my education and social networks.”

“Not that the social networks there are bad, it’s just maybe not for me,” the visibly shaken cross-country runner said of the 84-acre North Side campus.

When pressed by his guidance counselor as to the specific reasons he would not want to attend the school, Linsley stated there was “not one particular thing” that kept him from enrolling in Virginia Union.  He did note that he was apprehensive over some “general, high-level contrasts” between his and the student body’s musical tastes, clothing styles, and one noticeable, salient set of traits used to identify human beings that is vastly different from his own.

“Different good, not different bad,” he was sure to say.

The 17-year-old later noted that he really thinks Virginia Union could “be a great fit for my best friend, Marcellus [Harris Jr.] who is, like, you know.”


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