Richmond stand-up comedian Patrick Moore, who builds routines around making witty observations that no one else could ever possibly contemplate, told to a crowd last night that today’s heavy inauguration traffic in the Washington area “will be no different” than any other day.
Sources said it was a real zinger.
“I heard on the news that it’s gonna be a madhouse out there, absolute gridlock on the roads. I can’t tell if they’re talking about the inauguration of Barack Obama or my morning commute!” the 32-year-old comic said to an inexplicable response of riotous laughter and, quite bafflingly, a 92 percent applausal rate.
“Am I right? Am I right?” Moore added, hoping to build on the momentum of his – theoretically – funny bit.
“They’re telling me I should take the Metro [train] into the city and leave my car,” Moore continued. “I think I’ll just use my Star Trek transporter,” he one-lined, causing absolutely no one to laugh, and the room of Richmond’s Funny Bone Comedy Club to fall silent.
Crickets could be heard chirping, then Moore was pummeled with a hail of tomatoes and pulled off stage by an oversized wooden cane.