2008 Review Of Richmond’s Annum: June

A Month Kinda Like The Movie, Only With An ‘-e’

And Not A Pregnant Teenager

June 3: Right-handed School Board member Keith West attempts to write his name with his left hand, but says later that he was unsuccessful and that trying to do so “felt a little weird.”

June 4: Virginia officials are unsure what to make of a report saying that the state ranks 50th in production of those plastic thingies found on the end of shoelaces. 

June 5: After a report surfaces claiming that former Richmond police chief Rodney D. Monroe never fulfilled the requirements for his bachelor’s degree at Virginia Commonwealth University, a secondary report surfaces saying that he never finished preschool, followed by a third report that surfaces saying that he “absolutely despises” flying in airplanes.

June 5: Local woman Darci Kelley announces to passersby that the walking bridge to Belle Isle is officially “covered in tons of dog shit.”

June 9: Brendan Shifflett and Jason Winfree spot a Groome taxi but incorrectly believe – if only for a second – that the red, white and blue-colored car is a police cruiser.

June 10: Then-presidential candidate John McCain, on a campaign stop in Richmond, decides to heed the hot weather warnings for elderly and stay inside his cool air-conditioned bus.

June 11: High gas prices force VCU economics professor Thomas P. Meyers to cut his widget-production references.

June 17: Unable to gather enough signatures to run for her seat again, School Board member Carol A.O. Wolf hopes the shortage of names has nothing to do with the fact that she has two middle initials.

June 24: Saying he’s feeling “excited for the future” but suffering from a bit of heartburn, Richmond candidate for mayor Dwight Jones mentions to a reporter that he shouldn’t have had that third barbecue sandwich.

June 25: Heavily mustached and moussed attorney Robert J. Grey Jr. announces that he is running for mayor, and that, contrary to what his critics say, all his facial hairs are “absolutely lookin’ good.”

June 26: Sources say Chris and Marianne Wohl’s trip to Mexico Restaurant was not only on par with the last time they dined at the restaurant, but was equaled in good taste and fast-and-friendly service by the time before the last time, as well as the time before that. 

June 27: Area grandmother Roberta Billingsley makes clear to those around her that she not only swanees, but also declares.

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