upper-case letter shortage plagues local writers

a recent shortage of all 26 capital letters is putting a pinch on many writers across the nation – and in virginia.

the letters-capitalization deficit, caused by what literary experts are blaming as an “overuse of all upper-case forms of the alphabet,” has led to a 52 percent decline in all properly-edited book and document writing, newspaper articles, e-mail exchanges and blog posts across the united states.

“it’s incredibly frustrating, and it’s really made all of our jobs nearly impossible,” said will jones, a reporter at the richmond-times dispatch who was planning to write an extensive profile on city mayoral candidate paul goldman.  “i couldn’t even get [the story] started because i was using names and specific locations, and even an acronym or two, like fbi.”

english-language analysts warned that if the upper-case alphabet shortage is not granted relief soon, americans may soon run out all forms of letters, and thus lose the ability to write complete senten

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