Teen Who Apparently Texts Too Fast Charged With Making Bonc Threat

A 17-year-old Chesterfield County student who, apparently, types text messages a bit too fast, was charged today with two counts of making bonc threats to her school via text message.

The bonc threat, received at 9 a.m. yesterday, caused school officials to lock down Jerry Adams High School for two hours, and chuckle at Lauren Clarkson’s “either really poor grammatical skills, or inability to type with T9 [predictive text-messaging technology],” said Chesterfield schools spokeswoman Gwen Ripley.  “Trying to sound sinister but telling us that she wants to ‘Jill Everyone’ really doesn’t have a serious effect unless you spell it correctly.”

According to the text message, Clarkson planned to “Clow up the entire buildimg” unless students quit making fun of her.  “I bjpm (also) demanf (demand) B (2) nikkion (million) folkas (dollars),” the 145-character message noted.  Chesterfield police said that, as is the case with similar threats that have been received, no bonc was ever found.

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