Ukrop’s to close The Crappy One

Ukrop’s Super Markets Inc. plans to close down The Crappy One, its not-so-Ukrop’s-like store on the Virginia Commonwealth University campus, the family owned grocery chain said today.

The Crappy One, the company said, has been under-performing compared to its other stores, such as The Really Awesome Big One off Staples Mill Road, The One With The Cafe And Grill just off Patterson Avenue and even The New One in Roanoke, Ukrop’s president and CEO Robert S. “Bobby” Ukrop said.

“For about five years now, The Crappy One just hasn’t lived up to the expectations we set for Ukrop’s stores – all the same great offerings are there, but it just didn’t have the same feel as the others,” Ukrop said.  He added that employees at The Crappy One will be offered jobs at the chain’s other locations, including The One On John Rolfe Parkway That Nobody Really Knows About, or The One In Short Pump That Always Has Hot Guys In It Who Just Came From The Gym Or Something. 

Hopefully, employees at the VCU location said, the job offerings will be somewhere in the Richmond area and not at The Really Really Crappy One in Petersburg.

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