VCU’s Grant topples mannequin in staring contest

One day after the Virginia Commonwealth University basketball team beat the second-place UNC-Wilmington Seahawks 72-58, Rams head coach Anthony Grant clinched another victory in a staring contest with a mannequin.

“He played a great game, no doubt about it,” said Grant, who swept four straight rounds against the plastic, life-sized doll without blinking even once.   “There were a few times there where I thought to myself, ‘This guy is never going to close his eyes.'”

Grant, who has led the 22-6 Rams to the top of the CAA standings, said he found psychological weaknesses in the dummy after it broke eye contact under duress of the coach’s intimidating stare, which is more commonly used on the basketball court.  At one point late in the fourth round, the referee called a foul on the 41-year-old for making a funny face toward the mannequin in a prohibited attempt to make the model budge, though a review of the play showed that the former Florida Gators assistant coach was only holding in a sneeze. 

With the win, Grant moves on to the U.S. Staring Contest championships and is expected to easily defeat a life-sized poster of ESPN college basketball analyst Joe Lunardi.

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