Colleen Hall said today that the mouth of her boss was moving in an opening-and-closing fashion, apparently in request of a task to be performed by the account supervisor.
“I could tell he needed something, but I wasn’t paying all that much attention,” said Hall, now in her sixth year at EnLine Consulting Group on East Cary Street. “There was definitely movement around the mouth, though, and I could swear I heard the words ‘later today’ mumbled, which means it could be urgent.”
Added Hall, reaching for cigarettes in her purse: “It’s a real shame.”
According to Hall, EnLine general manager Tim Gordon approached the 34-year-old’s cubicle at approximately 12:30 p.m., adjusting his tie while concurrently unfastening his mandible from the upper skull and exalting various vocal pitches toward his subordinate.
“Now that I think about it, I bet he wanted that tax analysis for [client] Fitch Bros. [Properties],” said Hall, who believes she’d know exactly what the boss wanted had she not been “so rudely interrupted” by Gordon while updating her new Facebook account.
Like other humans, the boss’ mouth serves a main purpose to allow for the consumption of food and water. Hall noted that the boss was not holding any form of sustenance at the time of his assumed inquiry, meaning that Gordon’s face-hole was being used for speech-related purposes.
Eyewitnesses to the incident at EnLine described a scene similar to the one Hall depicts.
While office employee Charlie Slayton concurred that indeed there was a dull tone resonating from the lips of Gordon, the senior account executive claims there was also a response from Hall’s own orifice.
“It was a brief grunt, perhaps a ‘Yeah’ or an Mmm-hmm,’ but there wasn’t much there,” Slayton said, describing Hall as a lifeless, wretched bastion of corporate despair. “And pretty hot, too.”
Hall, meanwhile, does not fully recollect the response out of her own statement-maker.
“Yes, honestly, I told him that already,” said Hall, who lost her train of thought while watching Beyonce fall on stage in a popular YouTube video. “Wait…sorry. What?”