Couple upstairs either moving furniture or doing it

A couple living above renter Wade Morse could be moving several pieces of furniture but may very well be doing it, the Fan District resident said today.

The questionable activity being performed by the upstairs tenants began around 8 a.m. when Morse said he heard sounds of something scraping against the hardwood floor.  The 27-year-old said the “loud racket” coming from above his thin ceiling was likely either from a bed being used as a platform, or simply being shifted from one side of the room to the other.

The dental school student said he first realized the commotion was boringly inanimate or erotically human when the couple began talking dirty, or quite possibly clean.

“They were swearing pretty loud at each other,” Morse said.  “But I don’t know.  A full chest of drawers can be fairly heavy, so they may have just had a hard time moving it.”

At one point, Morse believes he heard a lamp fall to the ground and break. 

He guessed the drop was from an arm or leg swinging over the top of a sidetable, which, in fact, may have just been being rearranged by the thirtysomething couple.  “It sounded like it was getting pretty heated up there,” Morse said, “or they could have thought it was time for a change to their apartment’s interior.”

Morse, who lives in the 300 block of North Rowland Street, said the muffled screams of passion in the morning light or aggrevation at the awkwardness of an L-shaped desk let up for a moment when he heard the couple walk naked but perhaps fully-clothed to what he presumed was a space near their front door.

“I could hear him shout at her to grab something,” Morse recalled, “which could be in reference to a variety of things, including a table sitting at the doorway used for holding keys and spare change.”

The indeterminate floor-based movements then stopped for roughly a minute, due to the repositioning of either a loveseat or interlocked bodies tied together in love-making, Morse said.

He added that he has not had such a difficult time figuring out what his neighbors were doing since two years ago when it sounded as though the weird guy in apartment 1B was playing “Half-Life 2” really loudly or butchering his girlfriend into tiny pieces.

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